Mean mummy!!!

Interesting discussion tonight. If we could change just one of Mr Cs behaviours through whatever means ie therapy, discipline etc what would it be??? 

Miss M decides rocking. Only because she shares a room and he wakes her. 

Moth - undecided. Will have to have a think about it (duh). 

Me - without a doubt being called mean. "You mean mummy" - because I say no! I say no to: shopping to buy a car, running in the rain, hitting your sisters, to running in the busy street, do your buckle up ;) !!! 

I also get the "mean mummy" routine when I say yes and he says a no!!! Take your tablets, have a bath, eat your tea, pick up your toys, no tv til you pick up your shoes. Etc etc etc. 

Yes I am the meanest mummy ever. 

I hate hearing it I truly do!!! 

Think tomorrow we might start working on the time out when I hear those horrid words!!!! Stay tuned for an update....

Do up your buckle!!!!!

Because this issue came up on our local Community Facebook forum… I thought I would share some more!!!!  Plus I am in a ‘venting’ moment ;)

This was my response re a child not restraint in a seat:

“I have held my tongue on this one but have decided to respond. My son is diagnosed with ASD (Autism) and one of his many issues is the sense of touch. Wearing a seat belt actually HURTS him. This has been an ongoing issue since he was a baby. We have never been able to keep him "buckled up" and yes we have tried all sorts of things to remedy this, including 2 years of therapy and devices. While on short trips I am very guilty of not doing up his seat belt and do my best to have him sit in his seat, but often this struggle becomes an out pour of emotion from him and he crawls on the floor of the back seat, screaming in pain and fear...... I would also like to point out that no- it was not me you saw during the time frame you posted. HOWEVER - you do not know if there was extra-ordinary circumstances surrounding this. But so quick to judge. Unfortunately its happening a lot in the town which saddens me when it goes hand in hand with the amazing generosity we have seen of late. So my question is back at you - would you knowingly cause a child actual real pain OR risk their safety?? Its a hard question. Please STOP judging!!!”

I am not going to get all psycho on the judging issue here - but let’s look at seat belts in more detail!!!

Since a baby he has never been able to handle wearing straps, even backpacks were something to fear.  We of course had the baby capsule when Mr C was younger and then he moved up into a baby seat.  For some reason he ALWAYS managed to get the shoulder straps off.  We would pull up, fix and tighten and before we got back in the car again, it would be off again!!!  It makes a 2 hour trip to Toowoomba very long!!!!

Then he out grew the baby seat and into a child seat.  We started with a harness, which of course never stayed buckled!!!  We put the paper cup trick over the latch – but no fooling him…. beside he always use to eat the cup....hehehehe

  

We even tried this.... but he would just crawl out of the seatbelt!!!

Product available at http://www.mobilityengineering.com.au/buckle-cover.htm

To now – still in a child seat but we can, and often he will himself, buckle up!! This has taken a huge amount of effort and time and therapy.

There are of course exceptions.

After school and after a shopping trip – he has been so over powered with sensory input – having the belt on will still cause major meltdowns.  Occasionally we have been able to do the threat/bribe thing and it might work ie. “Put the buckle in so we can go to ‘donalds’”, “we can’t go shopping until your seat-belt is on”, “put it on now or I will stop and you can get OUT!!!” lol. Other times we are thankful he sits in his seat.

When it’s a long trip out of town – we have an action plan.  Most of it is distraction.  Check out my “Yep it’s traveling” post.  But still there are time when I hear the cry from Miss M – “Connors got his belt off AGAIN!!!” – normally followed by a huge SIGH!!!

It is a hard choice – cause pain or keep safe.  I am hoping one day our local police will pull us up and give him a ride to the little room (although I don’t want the fine!!!).  It might just scare him enough… or he might enjoy the ride too much!!!!

  

(For more ideas and tips to try if your little one has ‘unbuckling issues’: http://thecarseatlady.blogspot.com.au/2010/12/tips-tricks-how-to-prevent-someone-from.html)

It's a good thing.....

As a parent I am ALWAYS concerned about the welfare of all three of my beautiful children, but when it comes to Mr C… I am stressed to the max!!!!

After such an eventful, trumatic and stressful time for our family last year, and Mr C’s struggles with Kindy – yeah – I was totally maxed out about prep. I mean seriously…. 5 days a week???  So many changes??? So many kids during breaks?????  Yep – Mummy was in STRESS CITY!!!!

Of course we did the social stories, the pictures, the preparation, the meetings with staff, the uniform try ons, the new shoes (OMG they are BLACK!!!), the discussions with professionals about lunch boxes…. All the things we need to do when big changes are happening in his and our lives…. BUT did that relieve Mummies anxieties???? Ha – not a chance…

What did I forget???  Who else do I need to contact?? Did I name everything??? What if he gets lost?? Will he make friends?? Will he punch someone??? On and on.  I am a worrywart!!!

So cute on his first day

First day…. We survived, apart from losing a hat.

 

Second day…. We survived - hat found!!!

Third day…. He is starting to feel comfortable… watch out for sand flying in the sandpit!!!

Forth day….. Let’s chat about his fourth day….

The fourth day was a Friday, and at his school they hold a combined group “assembly”.  So about 70 or so (my guess) kids in one room.  They sing songs, listen to a message and sing some more.  And parents are welcome to attend.  So I did.  Why? 

• Different activity in his already new routine
• Noise.  Lots of noise.
• Music – why? He loves soft music and the occasional (his favourites) loud music, but a live musical instrument through a PA system can and often does stress him
• New room.  Although he had been in the room last year, this was a new activity being held in this room.
• Lots and lots of people – this means noise (yep covered that one), smells, touching etc etc
• Tired – already been a long week.

So I attended fully prepared to grab him and take him outside if he started stressing.  I arrived early, so was seated before he came in with his class.  I was so proud of him walking in holding hands with his teacher at the head of the line – he looked so grown up.  My little man.  He saw me and I received a huge smile.  One of those heart melting ones. He stayed with his class and quietly sat where his teacher ask him to – right at the start of the line.  Assembly began…

A welcome and songs.  He loves to sing.  He handled the songs.  He stood and sat when he was told and then the message began……

……And the shaking began……

…..first the head……

….then the rocking started…..

…….back and forth……

…….side to side……..

And I was ready!  On the edge of my seat.  Ready to go to him….

AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!!

A VISUAL OIL TIMER APPEARED in his hand!!!! I started to breathe again. 

This is one of his sensory tools.  He tends to focus on the oil drops and the world disappears.  NORMALLY – not this time. He had to show the little guy next to him and the nudging and rocking started again.  I was back on the edge of the chair.

A MINI BEAN BAG APPEARED.  The kind kids throw at the hoop…

AND this STOPPED the ROCKING!!!

He started to throw it in the air and his teacher sat on the floor next to him, gently guiding his hands back to his lap.  She stayed with him for the rest of the message (which seemed like an eternity to me) and he was happy!!!!

I CRIED!!!

After the assembly he ran to me for a quick “tight squeeze” before returning to his class with his friends and awesome teacher.

After all the stresses and concerns and plans… it does not matter how many times you explain or suggest, an educator will only do what they are capable or concerned about.  I found that out last year. 

BUT this year is off to a good start.  A few signs that put me at rest:

1. At the start of the line – walking in and sitting down.  He had some space.
2. When the shaking and rocking started – the staff were prepared.  
3. They had listen to my concerns and had 2 things I had mentioned to assist his sensory needs. 
4. Her gentle guiding hand.  Instead of control – guidance. 
5. And finally – she let him come to me for a squeeze. ;)

Yes my anxiety has lessened – still there – will always be there – but at least I know he is in caring compassionate hands while at school.  I know there will be incidents (still none ;) – yet), but we are off to a good start.  And yes – the teacher received a huge thank you in his communication book for her awesome assistance and support.

And so the year begins..........

NO MORE NAPPIES!!!

It has been seven days since MR C has worn a nappy to bed!!!!!  Dry bed every morning!!!

HOW??? Well he is a "big boy now" ......... 

And that is all!!!!