Roast Beef and Gravy and potty training.

My Mum loves to tell this story of my stubbornness as a child. I was recovering from an operation and still had the "drip" in. After a couple of days the nurses were very concerned that I still had not eaten and they could not, according to policy at the time, remove the drip until I had eaten. Mum, knowing nursing and her daughter, spoke to the head nurse about the situation. "Remove the drip" my mother ordered. So they did and I sat up and ate a full meal of roast beef, vegetables and gravy. You see, mum understood... I couldn't eat while I was sick and I must have been ill as I had a drip!!!!

 

It's all about perception, how a child's mind works and thinking outside the "norms". As adults we tend to loose this ability to think outside the box. One of the blessings of living with children on the spectrum is the constant reminder that not all is as it seems, that we are all unique in our methods and thinking processes.

So let's move forward a few years .... And to potty training....  "Huge jump of topic"  I hear you say.... Well get ready for poos and wees coz here it comes!!!!

Mr C was very difficult to toilet train. We started trying at about 18 months since he loved to take his nappy off as much as possible, but wouldn't use a potty or toilet - no matter what aids we had. And we had a few! Various types of potties, seats, steps and even a ladder! However I refused to cave to the musical throne!!! It made no difference! He would go anywhere outside for both P's and W's. And would proudly show us where!!! We tried reward systems for using the toilet and wearing "jockies", which BTW didn't work, until they were forced on. It was around this time he started with the OT who introduced the idea that the actual "feel" of underwear could be part of the problem and also the fear of falling into the toilet. We persevered and eventually got there. Using the toilet was second choice to going outside or a corner of his room (YUCK!!!! It took us forever to get him to stop this one!!!!). I can't recall how old he was before we had no day wets/messes but thanks to this blog I can pin a date on dry nights! He was over 5 years old and I thought we would forever have nappies!!!

So moving on current times. Miss Shy is a totally different story. I decided not to push the issue. I am learning from experience that these children will do what they need to do when THEY are ready! We have often offered her potty or toilet, and of course huge rewards if actually used, but although she would sit for a while, we would not often find end results for the efforts. And we have not pushed AT ALL!!! When she started ECDP (age 3 years) she became friends with another young girl, and, as expected, she started to copy. The school asked that we encourage this at home. DUH. We even packed "big girl panties" rather than nappies or pull ups, but we still had lots of puddles to clean. She would demand a nappy and immediately poo!!! Once or twice she took her nappy off to go herself, but very it was rare. 

 

Still I was determine not to push. Encourage and offer opportunities definitely. But no pressure. Moving to Kindy next year, toileting has been a topic of discussion as it is strongly preferred children be trained before they start, but STILL I am determined not to push this child! Yes I am as stubborn as she is!!!

So bring us to Saturday lunch time  (19 December 2015).... Little Miss "I Can Do Anything I Want" walks out of her room with big girl panties on. I told her "fine - but toilet for wee wees". Off she goes, all by herself, to the toilet. I am ok with this.... Let's see what happens.... Constant reminders.... Constant use! I am impressed!!! After a few hours she is fussing and Mr C informs she has a puddle.... Grrrrrr. I thought we had a winning streak. I move her to the bathroom for clean up and she points and shrieks to inform me something was wrong with toilet. Thanks for attempting to flush a bandaid Mr C!!!!! After clean up we do battle to get a nappy back on and nap time. 

After nap time I check her and sure enough.... No nappy and back into big girl panties. I need a padlock on her drawers. We get through the afternoon and evening with no issues. Bed time and again the determination of my "roast beef and veggies" attitude stands out.... No nappy. Fine I thought. I would slip in and put one on her while she sleeps. Ha!! Guess who fell asleep and forgot!!!! But a dry bed in the morning!!! What??

So in 48 hours since - no or little incidences. Always reminding, late night toilet trips (if I remember) and we are done! No nappies since the 19th of December 2015!!!

                                          

And Yes - I am counting the hours!!!

So my point here.... Kids need to do things when they are ready. I read all the articles and advice. I tried everything with Mr C. I had the charts, rewards etc etc. Nothing really work and all of us ended up frustrated. With little Miss S-bear we relaxed. No time frames - no stress. Sometimes it's about thinking outside the box and not sticking to the expectations of others and society.... Once she was ready she did it herself. A bit like me eating Roast beef and Gravy 😉. 

UPDATE: almost a month has gone by!!! The occasional mishaps but no wet beds and no nappies!!! We are heading away for a few days so long trips and new place to stay could be interesting!! Wish us luck!!!!