Again - another facebook post from 16 September 2014
Well I must say I have a pretty good couple of days....
After attending a work conference last week, I decided to "get professional" at work - not that the work ethic was lacking but my "appearance" needed some work .
So Monday I turned up with new hair do, makeup and some bling... and yes it got noticed!!! I was asked if I had a special meeting or something on... as I looked good
Today - from another person I was asked if I had changed my glasses or something as I looked different - and great...
Thank you ladies - made my day
Then to top it off I dropped by late to a networking meeting that I had not attended for over 2 years and it felt like coming home
Yep - today I am AWESOME!!!
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Not normal
My Post from Facebook September 2.....
Well apparently so much in my life is not "normal".
It is not normal to get uncontrollably angry when my household relies on me for EVERYTHING!!! It is not normal to yell at the 9 yr old who looses her bath towel EVERY bloody night!!!! It is not normal to want things put away in their homes ie dirty clothes in a dirty clothes basket and to scream my expectation to the people involved. It is not normal to be upset with work changes, new systems and policies. It is not normal to hide from the world when I just don't feel up to facing anyone. It is not normal feel out of control and go into panic mode when plans don't go as planned.
It is not normal to feel so overwhelmed that it is a chore just to get out of bed. Its not normal to be soooo tired after working all day that take out or frozen reheated seems like the only option for dinner. It's not normal to have memories - just fleeting reminders of what is lost - that causes one to brake down into uncontrollable sobs in the darkness of the night. Its not normal to have so much going through the mind that sifting out appropriate thoughts at the right time can be virtually impossible. Its not normal that if I am not in total control of a situation I am socially awkward and totally withdrawn - unable to interact socially.
Many of you may read this and say "what the???". Off comes the mask. Reality behind the keyboard....
Yes the Mask has served me well at times. So much easier to hide than face the reality..... I have been diagnosed with "Masked Depression". This form of depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in my mind and has been masked behind my anger and obsessions.
I am sharing this because once again life has sent me a curveball, and a new journey begins. No more mask.... And I do want to believe that I am surrounded by supportive people who can assist me in this journey...... And if I have learnt anything over the past few months it is that openness is a new beginning....
Thanks for listening....
Well apparently so much in my life is not "normal".
It is not normal to get uncontrollably angry when my household relies on me for EVERYTHING!!! It is not normal to yell at the 9 yr old who looses her bath towel EVERY bloody night!!!! It is not normal to want things put away in their homes ie dirty clothes in a dirty clothes basket and to scream my expectation to the people involved. It is not normal to be upset with work changes, new systems and policies. It is not normal to hide from the world when I just don't feel up to facing anyone. It is not normal feel out of control and go into panic mode when plans don't go as planned.
It is not normal to feel so overwhelmed that it is a chore just to get out of bed. Its not normal to be soooo tired after working all day that take out or frozen reheated seems like the only option for dinner. It's not normal to have memories - just fleeting reminders of what is lost - that causes one to brake down into uncontrollable sobs in the darkness of the night. Its not normal to have so much going through the mind that sifting out appropriate thoughts at the right time can be virtually impossible. Its not normal that if I am not in total control of a situation I am socially awkward and totally withdrawn - unable to interact socially.
Many of you may read this and say "what the???". Off comes the mask. Reality behind the keyboard....
Yes the Mask has served me well at times. So much easier to hide than face the reality..... I have been diagnosed with "Masked Depression". This form of depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in my mind and has been masked behind my anger and obsessions.
I am sharing this because once again life has sent me a curveball, and a new journey begins. No more mask.... And I do want to believe that I am surrounded by supportive people who can assist me in this journey...... And if I have learnt anything over the past few months it is that openness is a new beginning....
Thanks for listening....
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