Tents, tantrums and tempers

Here we are again. Miss M convinced me she needed a tent set up in her room to sleep in. She currently sleeps on the bottom bunk of a bed, with blankets as side curtains, creating a cave. I am guessing it's a sensory thing. And I am ok with it. But a tent??? Of course they just happen to be on special for $15 so thought why not....

WHY NOT???? ARE YOU INSANE??? (Yells the voice in my head)

To set the tent up we first have to measure, and of course move, most of the bedroom. But before we can do that we need to be able to walk into the room. This involves removing of a basket of dirty clothes that were on the floor, 2 bags of rubbish and finding new homes for the multitude of toys (that she doesn't even play with - so where did THEY come from??). 

Once half the room has been cleared away we have to start measuring. The result.... Yep -  Furniture needs to be moved. Start moving furniture to find more clothes, rubbish and toys. 

Miss M during all this time decided after doing her "bit" that she needed to sit and plan. And sit and plan. And start asking what's for dinner. And why can't the tent fit there? And when are the cats coming in? And so on... You get the picture....

So let me digress.... I was away from home last week and thought heaps about the way I handle things and what changes I wanted to implement when I got home. Including my patience level with this child that I love so dearly and let down so often by loosing my temper. Tonight..... It all went out the window. 

I totally lost it. 

To cool off, as I usually do - I turned to Facebook...

"So as some of you are aware I was diagnosed with masked depression a year or so ago. My question is this.... My depression was manifested in the lack of ability to control certain emotions. Including anger. If this is all directed at a particular circumstance or environment should I be medicated? Or should I instead work on my reactions? Or should I remove the situation? I stopped medications believing I didn't need but this evening I have once again lost control......"

It was followed by heaps of suggestions and offers to take the "situation" away (thank you). Heaps of supportive messages and comments, I am feeling so blessed that so many care enough to reach out. 

Still not sure of the answer to these questions. But I will book an appointment with my Dr. 

So the night ended with the room half cleared, most of the rubbish out, two loads of washing to do, AND NO TENT. 

UPDATE: fast forward 24 hrs and a brilliant, productive day at work, I felt up to the challenge of THE ROOM. It is done!!! Tent is in!!!! Of course it's much smaller than she hoped... But tonight she gets to sleep in it ..... 

Night all!!!